Franklin Grows Up

Editor’s Note: I wrote this some time ago, but since I’ve been so serious lately, it seemed like a good time to resurrect it.

Kristina and I both like Franklin, the sweet little turtle who has many adventures, and helps kids understand their world even as he entertains them, that rarest of feats. The delightful picture books have sold more than 50 million copies, and have been translated into 38 languages. A popular animated television series, and a several television specials have been created, capitalizing on Franklin’s popularity, and taking the lovable turtle in new directions.

The series was written by Canadian Paulette Bourgeois and illustrated by Brenda Clark. They really are terrific books. Among the many titles in the series are Franklin in the Dark, Franklin is Bossy, and Franklin and the Toothfairy, all published by KidsCan Press.

We own several books in the series, and we read them repeatedly to the two children we babysit and have for sleepovers — that is, before they graduated to chapter books.

Alas, we’ve heard that Bourgeois isn’t going to write any more Franklin books, and that got me thinking about some problems Franklin might have faced as he grew older, and entered those embarrassing middle school, junior high, and high school years that we all remember so, so fondly.

So, I’ve jotted down a few titles for Franklin in his awkward teenage years. Please feel free to suggest any Franklin titles you’d like to see.

I am surely going to hell for this. But in my defence, Kristina and I have saved five Nova Scotia turtles from certain doom over the last few years, stopping traffic at great risk to ourselves to let them cross the road in slow, ponderous safety.

Hopefully, the karma will balance.

Franklin Paints His Toes (and Likes It!)

Franklin Misses a Ground Ball and It Hurts His Penis

Franklin Finds his Dad’s Special Magazines

Franklin Comes Out of His Shell

Franklin and Bear Have a Special Sleepover

Franklin Tries on Beaver’s Apron (and Likes It!)

Franklin Throws a Hissy Fit

Franklin Has a Wet Dream

Franklin Tries Ballet

Franklin’s Special Secret

Franklin Drinks a Two-Four With Bear and Goose

Franklin’s First Hangover

Franklin Is Playing Hockey & Gets Hit in the Penis Again (& It Really, Really Hurts)

Franklin Discovers Girls

Franklin Wants a Harley Hog

Franklin Learns About the Birds and the Bees and the Turtles

Franklin “Borrows” Bear’s Chocolate Bar

Franklin Loses his Virginity

Franklin Falls Off His Bike and — Holy Shit —He Hurts His Penis AGAIN

Franklin Says a Four-Letter Word

Franklin and Bear Try Reefer

Franklin Experiments with Mushrooms

Franklin Gets a Kewl Tattoo

Franklin Buys Eyeshadow and Lipstick

Franklin Catches his Parents In Flagrante Delicto

Franklin Discovers TurtlesUnshelled.Com

Franklin Gets a HOT Turtlesitter

Franklin Copes with an Embarrassing Woody

This entry was posted in Books, Humor. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Trackbacks are closed, but you can post a comment.

3 Responses to Franklin Grows Up

  1. Aerin says:

    Too funny. Given your background, I thought I mind find turtle-recipes, rather than book titles. I like them!

  2. These were great, Richard.

    Hooray for you and your wife for saving turtles! That’s five more saved.

  3. Sarah Hina says:

    Franklin Forgets Slow & Steady

    Franklin Discovers Rocks

    Franklin Remembers that Turtles Can’t Stand

    Franklin–oh, crap. I could try and think of these all night. Thanks a lot, Richard.

    (Love the books, and my kids do, too. And your titles are great!)

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.