10. You don’t bother putting the toilet seat down after peeing because you’re certain you’ll be the next person using it.
9. You fill up a blue bag with recyclables from the backseat of your car.
8. You plan every trip by noting the destination’s access to clean public washrooms. If there isn’t a place to pee nearby, you don’t go. The corrollary: When choosing a movie at the multiplex, the movie’s Rotten Tomato ranking is less important than the film’s proximity to the restrooms.
7. When the attendant gives you one of those enormous 64 oz glasses of pop (soda), you know that it won’t be nearly enough, so you get one for your partner, and leave it by your feet.
6. You’re on a first name basis with the young woman who lets you back into the theatre. When you leave, she asks you if you enjoyed the movie, and you realize you don’t have a clue what it was about.
5. Over two hours, you visit the bathroom five times more often than the combined total of your wife’s eight-member book club.
4. You dream about being a cocker spaniel in a lamp post factory.
3. You find your former wine-writer self creating tasting notes for soft drinks, so you start a new blog with a beer-loving friend called Hops and Pops.
2. You pee outdoors so often it’s like you’re five years old again.
1. You start thinking about your time in the hospital with a catheter as the “good old days.”
OK . . . number one made me laugh out loud and spit out my tea! I am so sorry about this, Richard, but love that you can make light of it. xo
You sound like every woman over fifty years old. This too, shall pass!
So sad and yet so funny! And you too, Ms Cormier!
This reminded me of being pregnant!
Very funny list, but I’d rather you be less funny and not have to deal with this!
Hang in there. :)
Got to love di. My 5 year old has it, but she won’t pee outside! I like to tell our friends that she’ll be the only female I know who will want to retain water.
as a fellow person with DI, thanks for making me laugh!
While number 1 and 2 were my favorites, it was number 4 that caused the mental image. I won’t be walking near lamp posts for awhile. Hopefully you’ll be pass this soon.
I have DI, and this was hilarious! It’s SO accurate… haha
My favorite is number 1. I’ve had two surgeries, and I always BEG them to leave the catheter in………… TMI? Whatever.
I’ve had that #4 dream.
Great blog you’ve got here. You’ll discover me browsing your stuff often. Book marked!
These are very tell tale signs of diabetes insipidus. I like the humorous touch in your article.
I LOVE these.
I just recently was dx with pituitary adenoma and just found your blog. I look forward to reading about your adventures with Wall-E. Hope you are hanging in there. Thank you for sharing.